Teneisha Johnson
Legacy: Developing into your True Inheritance
It is very easy to get got up in the comparison game, partly because we learn by observing those around us.
If I asked you to stop whatever you were doing right now and describe the impact you want to have on those around you and the world after your gone, it’s only normal and natural that you would think of women you want to emulate.
Having successful women to model after is a true blessing.
So maybe in thinking about what you want to leave behind, you focus on the compassion of Mother Teresa, the courage of Rosa Parks, the obvious talent of Beyoncé, the beauty and determination of Halle Berry, and so on.
Seriously, think about it!
That sounds like a great recipe for success, doesn’t it?
It’s like wondering through an art gallery of great leading ladies and choosing colors and brushstrokes that you admire and want to incorporate onto your own canvas.
The danger arises when you set yourself up to be measured on their scale without their life experiences and circumstances, talents, beauty or even their personalities.
There will never be another Mother Teresa, Melinda Gates, Rosa Parks, Oprah Winfrey, Beyoncé or Halle Berry!
There will also never be another twenty-four Caymanian women from George Town, Grand Cayman who lead the charge for equal rights for women by writing to Commissioner Ivor Otterbein Smith on Election Day 1948, declaring,
“That it is our intention to exercise our constitutional right to vote today, August 19th 1948 according to our conscience”.
We had or still have those originals and don’t need another.
Most important to note is that no one else can be you but you! Lol!
You can observe and emulate without attempting to conform to someone else’s standards and achievements.
You have your own race to run, and while you can learn about pacing and breathing by studying those who have run ahead of you, only you can finish your race and reach the finish line God has established for your unique course.
Also, be careful who you let into your inner circle of friends.
Believe it or not, who your friends are will say a lot about you.
So, the question therefore is, who exactly are your friends? Better yet- Do you have any? (Lol).
The community to which we become tied will always give us direction and rules of conduct.
The rituals we perform will always tie us to our communities.
If we say a certain prayer in private, it will tie us to the group that uses and believes in that prayer.
If we sing a certain song, like our National Anthem of this British Overseas Territory, “God save the Queen” or the Cayman Islands National Song “Beloved Isle Cayman” which was written in 1930 by Mrs. Leila Ross-Shier, it will or should tie us to the group or country that also feels, responds and believes in the words written.
Do you believe in the Cayman Islands?
Are you actively trying to make this place we call home a better place?
Unfortunately, there are some addictive and destructive relationships and with these relationships it can be hard to see the dangers when you’re the one stuck in it.
You should know me by know, I’m always studying something and I’ve recently learnt that addictive relationships tend to be very superficial and apparently are very private.
The Addict inside does not care to be with people, but prefers to be alone or with other addicts who know, accept, and are not scared by their rites of addiction. For example:
· The alcoholic drinks alone or with “drinking buddies.”
If there is acting out with someone, it often takes place without words, but with addictive looks to communicate who will do what in the addictive rite.
Perhaps they will only meet when they band together in recovery to help each other fight their common enemy, food addiction.
· The addictive gambler most often prefers to be alone, but can recognize other addicts by the way they act, the symbols they carry, and the places they meet.
They often pass each other, recognizing each other’s presence in a silent way; if they talk, it is about their common interest in gambling.
Addiction is a negative form of worship through connection with one’s negative side, the Addict, at the expense of the Self.
The “Self” or the person within witnesses the addictive ritual and is often sickened by what he or she is forced to participate in, but they are held captive by the power of the disease.
I’ve also learnt that it is very important for recovering people to understand their “Addict” has a preferred way of acting out and that there are dangerous areas, times and behaviors they need to avoid that may trigger another episode.
According to Abraham J. Twerski, M.D. and Craig Nakken, a recovering spending addict who has a ritual of acting out on Friday evenings will need to make sure he or she is around safe friends doing safe activities on Friday nights.
A sex addict who use to cruise a certain part of town as part of his or her addictive ritual needs to stay away from that part of town.
Healthy rituals can also bind us to others, to family and to friends.
For example, attending church, going to see creative and funny stage shows as your able, volunteering your time or resources to one of the many great causes in our community etc.
If you think about it, healthy rituals bind us to people who care about us whereas addictive and destructive rituals are reverse rituals and their primary purpose is to isolate us from others and create hate and intolerance.
Healthy rituals help us to have better relationships.
They help us to feel pride about ourselves and others, addictive and destructive rituals cause shame.
Healthy rituals celebrate life, addictive/destructive rituals seek out death.
As a woman of the twenty first century what type of legacy do you want to leave behind?
